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I don’t sleep around, and I don’t want to be someone who does. But I’m in constant pain, and not just physically but emotionally too. I’m so lonely, and I want to feel good for a little while.For goodness’ sake I haven’t had sex in four years, one month, and one day! I thought I was good at hiding my depression until someone said my pain is written all over my face, which made me even more self-conscious. of me into some Spanx and a dress, but I can’t make myself attractive, and I don’t know if someone will be interested in me.Until you learn to appreciate your own presence, you’ll never feel comfortable, let alone happy, with anyone else.There are a few things you can do to feel better about yourself. You have some deep, deep issues that I can’t begin to help you with. Sure, it's probably a bunch of weirdo Olds, but you don't know that, and you never need to find out that it's not the guy who works at the Starbucks downstairs because in your mind, it totally could be/is. I'm not saying you should put on soundtrack, but it can be whatever you feel like at the moment.

And I’m hoping that, since it’s in another state, I might never have to see the person again so I don’t have to feel so guilty, or have the people from my home state judge me. Forget what you look like and think about what you SOUND like.People judge me when I tell them I can’t work, and they pity me when I tell them I’m a chronic pain sufferer, neither of which I can stand.Anyway, in a couple weeks I’ll be going to an event in another state, and it will be attended by people from all over the country.I would like to have an orgasm some time this year. And if by some miracle that happens, I don’t know if I could go through with it, and if I did, I’m not sure how I would live with myself afterward. I never had “wild college years” and I never could understand how some people could be so promiscuous.But I’m not really talking about becoming promiscuity. Should I “let loose” and be with someone at the convention if I get the opportunity?

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