Dating a drug addict boyfriend
EDITOR'S NOTE: He Said-She Said is a biweekly advice column for singles featuring a question from a reader with responses from a male and female point of view.
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It’s likely that in our lifetime, if we don’t love someone with an addiction, we’ll know someone who does, so this is an important conversation to have, for all of us.
The problem with loving an addict is that sometimes the things that will help them are the things that would seem hurtful, cold and cruel if they were done in response to non-addicts.
Therefore, I know that he has shown leadership qualities and is trusted by other Christians who know him well.
I have a lot of respect for him, but am curious about what impact his experience could have on a relationship.
The more we can talk about openly about addiction, the more we can lift the shame, guilt, grief and unyielding self-doubt that often stands in the way of being able to respond to an addict in a way that supports their healing, rather than their addiction.
If you’re waiting for the addict to stop the insanity – the guilt trips, the lying, the manipulation – it’s not going to happen.Addiction is not a disease of character, personality, spirit or circumstance. It’s a human condition with human consequences, and being that we’re all human, we’re all vulnerable.Addicts can come from any life and from any family.There could be a variety of reasons for the addiction – emotional, genetic or otherwise, but one of the most important parts of maintaining a “non-addictive” lifestyle or challenge of any kind is to be in community with others in order to stay accountable.Since your friend has been through a recovery program and is now a missionary reaching out to and helping those with similar struggles, he puts himself in a better position of protection from a possible relapse than one who isolates himself.