Dating what she means messed up

Petra Boynton is a social psychologist and sex researcher working in International Health Care and studying sex and relationships. Please note that by submitting your question to Petra, you are giving your permission for her to use your question as the basis of her column, published online at Wonder Women.All questions will be kept anonymous and key details, facts and figures may change to protect your identity.

Depending on the degree or nature of the hurt, it may take your partner awhile to accept your attempt at repairing the relationship.

If things get serious I start checking up on my boyfriend and being jealous. Can you re-imagine your past relationships and how they might have turned out differently if you had acted in other ways?

I don’t have a problem with alcohol but I drink more when I’m with someone. If they liked me enough they’d reassure me but instead they always leave. Can you think back to past relationships and note down what might have triggered your negative actions and why you have allowed these issues to influence your life to such a distressing degree? If you were in a relationship with someone who acted as you have, what would you do?

Sometimes I give them the silent treatment for days at a time.

What does thinking about a relationship without anguish and drama feel like?

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