I m dating a married man
At 49, I was just about there myself, and terrified of losing my desire for sex. So we have an imbalance, an elephant-size problem, so burdensome and shameful we can scarcely muster the strength to talk about it.Maybe the reason some wives aren’t having sex with their husbands is because, as women age, we long for a different kind of sex.I’m not sure it’s possible to justify my liaisons with married men, but what I learned from having them warrants discussion.Not between the wives and me, though I would be interested to hear their side.So how do we deny such a need to the one we care about most?If our primary relationship nourishes and stabilizes us but lacks intimacy, we shouldn’t have to destroy our marriage to get that intimacy somewhere else. I didn’t have a full-on affair with the tattooed husband.
All told I communicated with maybe a dozen men during that time in my life, and had sex with fewer than half.
He said he wanted to be close to his wife but couldn’t because they were unable to get past their fundamental disconnect: lack of sex, which led to a lack of closeness, which made sex even less likely and then turned into resentment and blame.
We all go through phases of wanting it and not wanting it.
Can I just have the occasional fling or a casual affair? If I asked her that kind of question, it would kill her.”“So you don’t want to hurt her, but you lie to her instead.
Personally, I’d rather know.”Well, I would rather know.