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Do I bring up my concerns and talk to him, or should I just try to ignore it and not overthink it? This thing is driving me crazy, but if I ignore it, won’t it just go away? We all want things to be easy, for relationships to come naturally, for our partners to just read our minds.

Don’t brush away your feelings or apologize for them.

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My boyfriend and I've been together for nine months, and we've not had sex. I've asked him about it and he says he generally waits awhile before having sex. I feel confident about our relationship, I know he truly loves and wants to be with me but I feel like nine months is a little long to wait, like he doesn't want me sexually. I always say that “normal” and “abnormal” aren’t terribly useful labels. In other words, your boyfriend isn’t a freak who’s weird or strange or deceptive just because he’s waiting. Maybe he’s dealing with some difficult sexual history. My boyfriend and I have been dating three years but the last four months have been rough.

No two people are ever in a relationship that’s “normal” — or average — in every way. Your boyfriend could have valid reasons for taking it slow. Maybe he’s insecure or young or just very cautious. Since, I've been diagnosed with anxiety and believe this to be the root of most of our problems.

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